Leaving Your Partner for Someone Won’t Improve Your Love Life: StudyAugust 28, 2019 13:25
Many people after parting ways with their partner/significant other think romancing someone new might be exciting and different, but a recent study has revealed it isn't true.
An eight-year-long study found that the dynamics of a relationship remain the same even if you change your partner.
Published in the 'Journal of Family Psychology', the study looked into 554 people in Germany for effective results and it showed that those individuals had the same dynamics in new relationships as in past broken relationships after the freshness of the honeymoon phase had disappeared.
"Although some relationship dynamics may change, you are still the same person, so you likely recreate many of the same patterns with the next partner," said lead author Matthew Johnson, a University of Alberta relationship researcher."New love is great, but relationships continue past that point," Johnson added.
The researchers carried out a survey on people at four points: a year before the individual’s first romantic relationship broke up and again in the final year, then within the first year of the new relationship and again a year after that.
The relationship aspects like satisfaction, frequency of sex, ability to open up to a partner, how often they expressed appreciation for the other person and confidence in whether the relationship would last were reviewed.
Across the past and present relationships, all but two aspects were firm. The exceptions were the frequency of sexual activity and expressing admiration for your partner, both of which increased in the new relationship. "These aspects are directly dependent on a partner's behavior, so we are more likely to see changes in these areas," he said.
People may feel that a new relationship is different but that's because of how past partnerships end, the study showed. "Things get worse as a relationship ends, and when we start a new one, everything is wonderful at first, because we're not involving our partner in everyday life like housework and childcare," Johnson explained. “But most relationship dynamics during the middle phase of the prior relationship, when things were going well, were similar to those of the second relationship after the initial honeymoon phase had passed.”
“In fact, relationships come to end for a lot of reasons and breaking up shouldn't necessarily be seen as a failure,” Johnson added. The weak spot of bringing a similar dynamic to the news relationships is that people may not be getting enlightened from their mistakes. "This research shows that chances are, you are going to fall into the same patterns in many aspects of the relationship. Even if things are different, they're not guaranteed to be better," Johnson opined.
It's important to have an honest view of our past romances as we move into new ones, Johnson advised.
By Sowmya Sangam